Momo Leaves Our World

July 11, 2015

She was suddenly much weaker. Yesterday, I came into the house from the garden after my siesta. The first thing I saw was Momo half sitting and half lying on the floor at the bottom of the staircase. She wanted to go up the stairs but couldn’t make it. I picked her up and realized her four paws and tail were cold. I took her to the living room, sat on the sofa with her on my lap and held her paws and tail to warm them up. It felt like she was giving up and accepting that her time was coming. She was so light and fragile. Once she warmed up, I put her in her basket and covered the basket with a cloth to prevent flies getting at her and keep her warm.

This morning, we decided to take her outside in her basket. We put her under our outside covered space so that she could enjoy the nice summer breeze. I think she waited for us to be ready. As we were finishing lunch, she became so weak that she could no longer hold her head up. Both of us went over to her and I put her on my lap. Steve was sitting next to me stroking her. We told her that she did not need to try hard to stay alive; she could go when she chose to. We told her that we were very glad that we had her in our lives and that she was the most beautiful cat in the world. Her ears were alert, listening. She was breathing deeply and with each breath, her breathing became slower.

She breathed out for the last time and her soul went away with the breath.

Momo the Cat

Momo’s “official” birthday is September 20, 2002. It was on a long weekend and we were out that evening and came home late. As we were going into our apartment building in Tokyo, a very skinny cat came up to us, looking very hungry. We had some cat food at home for a stray that had disappeared a few weeks before. I ran into the house and got the food and gave it to her. She swallowed it all in one go, almost.

On Monday, we saw a cage set up in a printing company in front of our apartment building. There she was with her three kittens. They were in the cage because it was dangerous for cats to be wandering around in the works with all the machinery. The company employees had provided a safe place for them during the working day. Whenever we passed by, we stepped into the works and looked at the kittens. The employees urged us to take one or more of them. In the end, we took one home and named her Momo, after the girl in the Michael Ende story “Momo”.

She was very cute but quite wild. Running around like crazy and staring at us as if she was the higher being. She grew into a very independent and smart cat. She would not come and sit on our lap. She did not like to be overly looked after. She would become restless if we held her a few seconds too long. But we loved her. And she became the queen of the house.

In 2005, we moved to Portugal. Of course, we brought her with us. Once here in our house, she made it her home, her territory. She would run around to her heart’s content, she would follow us up and down as we struggled with work on the land. She was the boss and one of her duties was to defend her land from other cats. She had a strategy. When she spotted an intruder, she’d meow very quietly to call us. Once we were backing her up, she would chase the intruders away.

Exhausted after a fight. Her strategy did not always work.

In the summer, we would sit by the pond in the evenings and Momo would run around pretending to be a white tiger. In the winter, she would come to the bed, snuggling up to us. In December 2012, we took in another kitten, Chou Chou. She’d been abandoned nearby. We were very reluctant because Momo had never lived with another cat. But Chou Chou needed a home and she asked us to help her. So, there she was.

Momo was faced with six-month old, something beyond her imagination. Well, she was not very happy. Chou Chou, being very young, wanted to play. Momo, on the other hand, was not in the mood to play with a kitten. They never got along as well as we hoped but I guess they came to terms with each other in the end. We had two summers with two white tigers stalking around the garden.

Chou Chou (l) and Momo. Maybe friends.

Living with Cancer

Momo had fallen ill at the end of the summer 2014. We noticed a small lump on her left lower eyelid, just about where her lachrymal (tear) duct was. It did not look good. So we took her to a veterinarian who had just opened a clinic in Tabua; he had a reputation for being kind and gentle with animals. The young vet sent a swab for analysis. The result was not positive for cancer, but he was convinced that Momo had skin cancer.

Later we took her to another vet, one we knew quite well. Momo had been there many times, once hospitalized for one week. The vet told us that a tissue sample was needed for a proper analysis. It was quite intrusive to get the tissue needed for analysis. But Momo was a good girl. She put up with it. In the course of getting the tissue sample, the vet discovered that there was a worm in Momo's eye! It was an Oriental Eye Worm. The vet said she never saw them in cats throughout her career – and she is an experienced vet. They are frequently found in dogs, she said. So she took it out and gave Momo medicine to deal with it. We started to clean her eyes regularly.

Just after the vet treated Momo for the Oriental Eye Worm, it looked like her eye was clearing. Then result of the analysis came back. It was positive; indeed, Momo had a tumor – cancer.

The vet and we discussed what options we have and what would be the best way to deal with it. Because of the location, excision was not possible. Other options were chemotherapy and/or radiation treatment, except there is no equipment for the radiation treatment either in Portugal or Spain. Closest would be Paris! We did not want to go for chemotherapy. Side effects could be severe and if that reduces her quality of life, it defeats the purpose of the treatment. Going to Paris (and staying there for three months) for her treatment felt inappropriate even if it were possible! Besides, Momo hated traveling. So we decided to look after her ourselves as much as we could and try our best to make her comfortable. We cleaned and disinfected her eyes every day. She hated it. We were supposed to do it three times a day but often managed only once.

The difficulty was that the fact it was skin cancer that originated right on her eye. It started to spread and Momo became unable to open her left eye. The cancer was eating her alive and leaving an open wound. Yet, amazingly, she did not seem to be in pain until the very end. It was not easy for us to watch it happening, but I knew she did not want to be pitied.

Meanwhile, Steve went away and then I was away from home at different times. When I was away, I always wondered if she would be still around when I came home. She was slowly deteriorating. She was eating less and losing weight. She gave up a few activities because she was no longer physically capable. She was aging quickly and becoming frail and slow.

In the spring, Momo did enjoy being outside quite a bit. It was nice to see her enjoying spring evenings. Momo would drink water from the pond while Chou Chou chased her tail.

She had good days and bad days. On the bad days, we wondered how long she would be around. On the good days, surprisingly, she would run around in the garden. And she always came home at night.

Momo Scare

One day, in May, she did not come home. I remember it very well. It was May 13th. I came home late and Momo was nowhere to be seen. Steve and I both went out at around mid-night to look for her. No sign. One thing we knew about her is that she is an independent cat. Before she was hospitalized a few years ago, Momo thought she was going to die. Fortunately she recovered – but at one point, she went to her favorite spot in the garden and lay down as if she was waiting to die.

I did not want her to disappear and die alone, leaving me wondering what happened. I told her time and again that I wanted to be with her when she went. Next morning, we went out again to look for her. No sign. We believed that she had gone. We started to grieve. It was sad to think that we didn't even have a chance to bury her properly.

Then, in mid-morning, Steve came in and told me that Momo was back! We both had no idea where she had been. We had looked in all of her favourite places and she was not there. But now she was back. There was no miraculous recovery, but she was back.

By then, I was completely wasted. Grieving takes lots of energy. And re-adjusting to the reality that in fact Momo was here also took some time. Amazingly to me, it was not so easy. But it was nice to know that at least we had some more time with her.

One month passed. We wondered whether we might have to put her down. But it always seemed that she still had life in her and a will to live.

Looking after Momo

The final six weeks or so were difficult. She would stay in one place in one position for the whole day and night. While she still had interest in food, she had difficulties eating. Whenever she shook her head, fluid from the open wounds around her eyes splashed around. She was limping but still did not want to be helped.

At one point, she stopped cleaning herself. She became smelly and dirty, and flea infected. Because she was by then very skinny, she looked like a dirty rag on the sofa where we provided a space for her. I became hesitant to touch her. But I was aware that Momo would pick up my feelings and might feel she was no longer wanted.

Finally, I asked the vet if there were some products to keep her clean. If she cannot clean herself, maybe I could clean her. I don’t know why I did not think about seeking advice from the vet sooner. I got wipes and a different “spot-on” type of medicine that kills fleas. A few hours after I applied the medicine on the back of Momo’s neck, dazed fleas started to come off of her. And they were many.

I cleaned her using wipes few times a day. Used flea comb to make sure to get the fleas out of her. Washed her tail twice with warm water with help from Steve. I was surprised how little resistance I got from Momo. It had become much easier to look after her but a little sad that she had become so tame. Cleaning her and stroking her, and feeling her skinny body were somehow soothing. She was now much cleaner and once again she was Momo the cat, not a dirty rag on the sofa.

By then, I brought her food and milk a few times a day. I helped her eat. Placed her toilet next to where she would sleep. Every day washed the sheet that she slept on the night before.

We had a busy week with a roof repair job in progress. Momo spent most of her time on a chair in the studio or on the sofa. Three days before her passing, she bled heavily. She seemed to be in shock as if she did not understand why this had to happen. She was weak but still alert, trying to listen everything that was going on. Familiar noises must have been comforting to her. I was sad to think the pleasure of looking after Momo, touching her fragile body and cleaning her gently, would not last long. When I held her and warmed her cold paws and tail that day, she was in peace. Serenity was the word that came to my mind.

Thereafter

I no longer need to wonder if she will still be there when I come home. I no longer need to clean after her. The house does not smell any more, and the number of fleas is decreasing. I removed the plastic sheets that I placed on the sofa under a thick bath towel to prevent the sofa getting dirty. The furniture and cushions are slowly coming back to their respective positions. Things are getting back to normal. …It’s just that Momo is no longer with us and we are back to a one-cat household.